


Just Look Where We Have Landed

by imaginary_witness



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-15 05:57:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14784797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginary_witness/pseuds/imaginary_witness
Summary: Murasakibara Atsushi has a dark secret about his Captain, Akashi Seijuro. He knew him, once, a long time before. But having loved and lost is not always better than not having loved at all. It stands as his test of time to finally tell Akashi just how much he cares, and he has more than just the scars to prove it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ratings: Teen/PG  
> Warnings: Violence (mild/mentioned)  
> Genre: Friendship, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Drama.  
> Originally Published: May 8, 2014 (Fanfiction.net)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story: living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.

A slender pair of hands grabbed the ball out of the air. Atsushi looked behind him to find there was no one there. The commotion of Midorima stealing the ball had distracted him enough to allow Akashi to slip by him.

The gymnasium went quite. There was only two ways the last minute would proceed: by a stroke of luck, Midorima would be able to make a three pointer that would tie the game and save the first string their dignity. Or the game would end with Akashi leading the second string to victory, which could possibly end with an additional two points if he succeeded in getting by Atsushi.

Atsushi felt the noose around his neck tighten. He barred his teeth and crouched low. There was no way he was going to let Seijuro slip by him again. He would just have to double up with Aomine to get the ball as close to the midline as they could for Midorima to take the shot. Every pair of eyes in the room was on him now, watching the short captain advance.

Atsushi forced himself to focus. He felt the sweat trickle down the side of his face, but fought against the disturbance. He narrowed his eyes, pushed himself to crouch lower, to bring his gaze up to meet Akashi's. He felt sick when he saw the look in his flaming red eyes, the look that told him Akashi had wanted this game to happen, had waited to seize this moment. In his heart he knew there would be no way to stop Akashi, no way to keep him from winning.

'No.' he utter to himself.

He wished they were on an outdoor court. He wanted to spit. He felt sick. He shouldn't have eaten before he came back inside the gym.

Akashi smirked, reading the worn expression in his opponents eyes. He dribbled the ball slowly, menacingly, buying time. With his free hand, he made a motion to his teammates to get inside the key from behind. Atsushi knew what he was planning, Akashi was seeking a gap in his defense to duck under and then have his team stop him from following.

Well, he wouldn't be getting any of that.

Atsushi smirked, forcing himself to remain crouched. His legs were beginning to burn lightly from having to stoop for so long. Akashi passed the ball from one hand to the other, back again. He dribbled it between his legs, moving forwards as he did so. The fast-paced movement caused Atsushi to step back. Akashi drove forward to the right. He kept the ball as far from Atsushi as he could, but continued to dribble it between his legs to keep Aomine from snatching it away.

Atsushi grunted with the effort to keep up, he didn't want to leave any opening for Akashi to slip by him. He fought against the strain in his muscles to just overpower him. It would be too easy to simply knock the ball out from Akashi, but the chances of harming him in the process was too great a risk for him to get away with.

Akashi stopped suddenly, continuing to dribble the ball between his legs, over in front, back under. He stood for a second before casually retracing his steps, backing away from the key. Atsushi made to follow before being stopped by the two second strings that had crept around to the back of the key. It was then he realized that Akashi hadn't meant for him to be blocked from following, he had been shepherded into a screen.

Time was running out. If he was going to stop Akashi, it would have to be now. Aomine raced forward to steal but Akashi simply outpaced him, rushing forwards to the three-point line and jumping off both feet. As he reached full height, he released the ball from his hands, those perfect pale hands curving into a delicate follow through. Aomine's hand's just missed smacking the ball to the ground by seconds. Atsushi stumbled, lost himself. He had been admiring Akashi as he performed his shot, had felt longing as he gazed at those soft hands. He growled, gave his head a small shake and jumped, determined to stop the ball from making the basket.

But the ball simply sailed over his fingertips. He felt the rough skin of the ball graze his fingertip before it passed by, hitting the backboard with just enough force to rebound it through the net.

The buzzer sounded, bringing the gymnasium to life. The kids in the second string began cheering loudly. For once the regulars held sour expressions.

Akashi smirked. It was all too easy.

It was quiet in the locker room that day. Aomine didn't say a word as he shut his locker forcefully and left. He never counted it as a loss when it was a loss to Akashi. Midorima sighed, exhausted, and remained silent as well. He placed his hand on Atsushi's shoulder before leaning down and whispering, "I'm sorry, Atsushi. You did you're very best."

The locker room was empty when Midorima left. Murasakibara stared down at the floor, for the first time in a long time since he felt the bitterness of defeat. He hated how even his sweets wouldn't rid him of the taste. He looked up when he heard soft footsteps coming from the showers.

Akashi had entered, wrapped from his chest to his knees in a towel. His hair glowed red from the blackness it had become in the shower and dripped with water. His skin was pale and his limbs were slender. He kept his gaze on the lock as he slid in his combination and retrieved some clothing from the hangers.

Murasakibara's mouth fell open. How had he ended up here, alone, with Akashi Seijuro? How did he lose to him?  
He wanted to say something. He wanted to scream but no words came out. Akashi took his clothing to the stalls at the back and Atsushi heard the lock slide into place. Some soft sounds of shuffling as Akashi dropped the towel and began to get dressed. Atsushi bent his forefinger and bit on it, struggling to fight back tears. What were these feelings? Why over Seijuro?

Akashi walked back to his locker and placed his items away. He was dressed presentably again, his hair spiky and much drier, though still damp. He looked tired as he reached in for his bag and gently pressed his locker closed. He rested his forehead against the cool metal for a moment, muttered something inaudible under his breath and turned.

Atsushi stood slight, made the attempt. His legs burned, screamed at him to sit. "Aka-"

Akashi turned and glared, his red eyes shining with angry tears. Atsushi's voice failed him, and he slowly felt himself sit back down.

"Rest your legs, Atsushi." Akashi announced. "You pushed yourself hard today."

And with that Akashi turned and left. The locker room door click shut in his absence.

"Aka-chin." Murasakibara whispered to the empty room, fresh tears making their way down his face.

Akashi held his hand out, glowing slightly in the light misty rain. Atsushi's arm felt like lead and he struggled to raise it and reach back for Seijuro. The needles and medical equipment hooked up to his arm pulled and tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. Their fingertips touched slightly, graze, just as the basketball had.

"I can't close the gap." Atsushi whispered, pain in his voice.

Akashi shook his head, his hair shaking softly. He pulled his hand away slightly, just enough so they were no longer touching.

Atsushi reached forward again. The needles pulled. He moaned. "I can't, I can't." he whispered.

Akashi simply pulled away again.

Atsushi growled, angered by the weakness he bore. He threw himself at Akashi, the needles digging into his arm, others ripping out. He felt the blood trickle down his arm, felt his flesh tear. But it didn't matter because he held Akashi's hand, fell into Akashi's embrace...

Atsushi jolted up with a start. He move his hair off his face, drenched in sweat. His long arm reached out, and for a moment he feared that it would be bleeding and inserted with needles, to pick the alarm clock off his nightstand. The alien green digits screamed at him it was 2:54am. He fell back into his pillow, moaning at how late he had stayed up already.

"You look terrible!" Kise greeted him.

Atsushi simply grunted a reply. He had dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep he had last night. He flopped into his chair and placed his head on his desk, hair scattered. Kise tsked-tsked disapprovingly, softly brushing his hair into a clean ponytail. His fingers were soft and slender, warm. Atsushi caught himself vaguely wondering what Akashi's fingers would feel like.

"Kise?" he mumbled, pausing on chewing his own arm.

"Yes?" Kise asked softly.

"What do you think of Akashi Seijuro?"

"Who?"

"Nevermind."

"Is that's what eating away at you?"

"What?"

"It's just that you seemed a bit jumpy since those presentations yesterday."

"Oh, yeah. Those. It's just I knew him once."

"Oh?"

"He's just...different now."

Kise giggled softly. "Well, when did you know him?" He asked, his fingers beginning to lace Atsushi's hair into a gentle braid.

"A while ago. I used to pick on him in school when we were younger."

"Why? Murasakibaracchi, I never thought you were a bully."

Atsushi flushed red. "I never really looked at it as bullying."

"But you're so nice now."

Atsushi flushed redder. "Kise-chan, please stop."

"Tie?" Kise held his hand out.

Atsushi complied, giving him one of many off his wrist.

Kise tied off the braid and came around to grab both sides of Murasakibara's face in between his hands. "The past is the past, Murasakibaracchi. You can't change it. Don't feel down."

Something in Kise's eyes was screaming at Atsushi that he understood, that everything could be alright. He sighed and felt that a lot of things were screaming out at him lately.

"Have hope." Kise whispered, giving him a quick hug before darting to his seat across the room as the bell rang.

Atsushi looked up in time to see Akashi sneak into the room, pass down the aisle by the wall and take his seat. He felt a flush of embarrassment rush down his spine as he turn his gaze to Kise, who was watching him. He smiled and nodded and Atsushi swallowed his gum, knowing deep down that he eventually would have to talk to Akashi.

Class dragged by and Murasakibara gazed out the window, watching the wind blowing the tree branches. He felt sick. He had come to the decision to approach Akashi after class ended. He knew Seijuro would be the last to leave, he would simply wait for him and...

And what? What do you say to somebody who stabbed you with some medical scissors after you endlessly tormented them for years? A simple apology wouldn't remove the amount of damage that Atsushi had caused, it wouldn't cure the rumors that had spread due to Akashi's antisocial behavior. And Murasakibara couldn't find it in him to blame Akashi for the way he behaved towards others. After what he had done to him, Akashi couldn't be blamed for his trust issues.

"Atsushi? Atsushi?"

Murasakibara jolted in his seat. "Yes sempai?"

"Day dreaming again? Your partner for this project is Akashi Seijuro."

All the blood in Murasakibara drained. It was all he could do to nod.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What's with you and him?" Kise chuckled. "You seem to just have some sort of twisted fate."

"Yeah." Atsushi muttered, still shocked from his teacher's choice of assignments. "What is the project on? I wasn't paying attention."

"I'm sure Seijuro would just complete it himself and put your name on it. Don't worry about it too much."

"Kise, I can't let him do that."

"Relax! I'm only joking!"

They walked in silence for a moment around the soccer field before Kise couldn't restrain himself from asking, "So what exactly did happen between you two?"

Atsushi glared at him from the corner of his eyes before heaving a sigh. "I may as well tell you." He gave in.

"We were...young. I don't remember how young exactly. I just remember his hair. It was always just so bright, like fire. I hadn't seen anything like it before. And you know, my family all having, well, this.

"Anyways, we met one day by accident. His father had been dragging him along with him to some sort of business conference and we were all at the airport. He had the same backpack as I did, a small, leather black one with small silver studs on the straps. We were coming back from a family trip and I put my backpack down to get some snacks out of it. He put his down not too far from us, I don't know what he was doing. But we all ended up walking away and we left our bags there.

My family was halfway to the train station when I realized the bag wasn't mine. At first I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be a bother, but then I wanted some snacks."

Atsushi blushed and elbowed Kise, who was beginning to smirk. "Don't laugh, okay?"

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'll stop." Kise chuckled. "Keep going."

"Anyways, mom took me back to look for my backpack and they were standing there looking for his so I went over and we traded and I...gave him a hug."

"A hug?"

"Well, I was happy to have my snacks and he didn't eat any and he looked so scared, so I gave him a hug. He was tiny back then too." Atsushi blushed some more. "Like, this big..." And he measure to about his thigh with his hand.

Kise giggled but became silent once Atsushi glared at him.

"Well, what happened? You gave him a hug and then what?"

"Well, then he...he said he would like to see me when they came back."

"And his father let him?"

"Well, his father took our number. I assumed he would never call, mother said not to trust him because they were supposedly richer than us. But he called. Apparently he hadn't spoken about anything but me on the entire trip so his father had no other choice."

"So how did you end up bullying him?"

"It was a while later. We were already in school when we met, but we went to different schools. I had to change schools when my older siblings had to go to middle school, that's how I ended up coming to Teiko. That's also how I ended up at his school. I didn't have many friends at my old school, I mainly hung out with Akashi on the weekends. When I started to make friends, he seemed jealous. He wouldn't...I snapped. I don't know why. And I started to pick on him in front of them. I would say mean things, pinch him, hit him around. I remember one day I ...pushed him. He fell into the mud and he got in trouble with his father for soiling his clothes."

"But why?"

Murasakibara swallowed. "I don't know Kise-chin. Honestly, I don't.

"He seemed so little, it felt powerful to pick on him. And he never defended himself. I guess I did it to get some friends and the more they were around, the more I had to. It just...became habit I guess. I remember when he fell in the mud he looked up at me. He looked up at me with hurt in those red eyes of his, full of tears. And he said to me 'I thought we were friends.' It tore me apart inside. It was like, he took all those hits just to satisfy me. And I felt so terrible. So I hit him again. I was mad he hurt me so I hurt him. And it got worse and worse. One day, close to the end, he brought his father's medical scissors to school with him."

"No." Kise breathed.

"Yes." Atsushi confirmed.

"He had them in his pocket and I went to pick on him again. I had a small group ushering me to go pick on him for money, they wanted to go to the store and I had spent all my money on snacks already. So I went over to him and I pushed his shoulder. It had become my way of greeting him. I pushed him and I began to toy with him as I always did. And he waited. He took my abuse until I was close enough. And when I raised my hand, I was aiming to hit his face, he...he lashed out and stabbed me right here."

Atsushi rubbed his hip where under his clothes a long, jagged scar lay.

"It took 314 stitches to close it. And it didn't stop bleeding. The scissors supposedly cut into the top of my hip bone but it never really damaged me. I stopped picking on him after that. I stopped going near him. I began to pretend he didn't exist. I forced myself forget the last few years and I stopped hanging out with who I called my friends. I hated them for ruining me and Akashi. I hated myself for listening to them. Spending all that time in the hospital, it made me realize that I really only bullied him because of the crowd cheering me on. I felt like, if I didn't pick on him, they would pick on me for being so tall."

Atsushi sucked in a breath and wiped the tears falling off his face. Kise reached out and took hold of his hand. Murasakibara was glad they were far off in the field so nobody would see them.

"I told him the time before he...he brought the scissors, I was taunting him. I pushed him, hit him around a bit. I asked him 'Why are you so obsessed with me? Do you like me Akashi, is that it? Do you like me?' My friends all thought it was hilarious. They began to make songs out of it, laugh about it, whisper it at him. He became isolated, more withdrawn than before I met him. He used to participate in class more, used to ...he wasn't such a ghost as he is now. I mean, people never really got close to him, they were intimidated of him, scared. He never had much friends. But it was the rumors that ruined him. What was left of him that I hadn't managed to ruin I suppose. But in a sense, I started those rumors. In a sense, I killed him Kise-chin!"

Atsushi stopped walking and turned to face Kise. "I killed him Kise-chin. He called me his best friend, and I hurt him. And I know just how horribly it feels-"

Without warning Atsushi just crumpled to the ground, a sobbing mess. Kise sighed and sat on the grass beside him, placing Atsushi's head on his shoulder and holding his hand.

"I-I-I know just how badly it feels, being such an outcast and being called a freak. And I'm always picked on for being so sensitive sometimes. But really, I'm a monster!"

"It's alright, Murasakibaracchi. Everything's okay now."

Atsushi managed to make it through practice without interacting with Akashi. He had decided to put everyone through drills, making them stretch, run, lift, shoot, dribble, and concluded with some resistance training. At the end of it all, many complained they couldn't feel their feet, with most of their workout focus on their legs.

Atsushi made sure he was one of the last to leave the locker room. Despite being embarrassed from his break down to Kise, he felt a lot better having shared his guilt with someone. And Kise had been a big support. Atsushi decided he would try to talk to Akashi about their project, a suggestion Kise came up with. Perhaps after they had finished their project he could apologies to Akashi and see how it would go from there.

But Akashi was nowhere to be seen. After asking Midorima, and using the excuse of the project as a valid reason to want to talk to the Captain after that hard day, he discovered Akashi had left immediately after practice for home.

"He said his father wanted him home immediately. Something urgent."

"Probably business." Atsushi muttered.

"Business?" Midorima asked, his eyebrows raised. "Well, I guess business would be something urgent to them."

"It is." He found himself blurting out, sounding years younger. He hurried out of the locker room before Midorima would become any more suspicious of his words.

It was chilly outside and Murasakibara zipped his jacket up all the way to his chin. He unwrapped a lollipop and placed it in his mouth, wishing instead he had a bag of chips. He decided to begin to walk home before it became any darker.

"Just a moment longer. I need to see if he's left yet."

Atsushi stopped before rounding the corner. He hadn't heard that whine in his voice for ages. He didn't want to walk around the corner, didn't want to seem like he knew who was around it waiting for him. But he knew if he didn't he would miss his chance. He took the candy out of his mouth, heaved a sigh and placed it back. Briskly he stepped around the corner, hoping he looked casual and in his regular stance, head down and hands in his pockets.

"A-Atsushi?" a small voice called.

He looked up and around before finding the source of the voice. Of course it was Akashi, his flaming red hair standing out in the darkness, his pale skin cut off at the top of his neck with a dark black scarf. He had his hands in the pockets of his long, dark coat as he walked over to him.

"Aka-chin?"

"Hello." Akashi stammered. "I didn't mean...I don't mean to...I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to do the project together, or how'd you'd want to divide it?"

Murasakibara stared down at Akashi with a dumbfounded expression. This was the boy he had beat, kicked, punched, slapped, pushed, spat on, and insulted for years. The boy who had saved him his treats at the airport. The boy whom he endured gruesome athletic training under and called his Captain. This was the boy who had called him his best friend. Akashi had seemed different since he had first met him and learned of him, but had his own feelings changed?

"Oh, um, well, perhaps I should just ask the professor if he would let us work alone?"

Akashi's words shook Atsushi from his thoughts. He realized Akashi took his silent staring as something negative. He shook his head, his braid tugging gently at the back of his neck.

"N-no. Um, sure. I'd...love to."

Murasakibara tugged at his bag strap as something to do. He felt awkward and once more noted the difference in their height as something more than average; a difference that bothered him greatly. He wondered how Akashi would react if he tried to hug him, but he knew it was an act that seemed too false for the sharp captain, and that it would be much too soon. The ghost of their past seemed to be equally heavy on both their minds, and Atsushi wondered with what strength Akashi had in captaining his team with Atsushi as Center. He noted talking to each other was clearly difficult on both sides.

"So, when would you like to do it? I mean, work on it together?" Akashi flushed pink. Obviously he was an average middle school boy in catching the double meaning in his words.

Murasakibara thought he looked cute when he blushed. He felt like bending down to press his lips to Akashi's. He wondered if they were cold?

"Uh, could we work on it now?"

"Isn't it a bit late for you? You haven't eaten anything. Though, I have no objection."

Murasakibara felt a smile creeping on his lips, gently tugging the corners upwards. Akashi still cared about him enough, even if just for his place on the team, to remember his giant friend's love of food.

"I don't mind, Aka...Aka-chin. I have some snacks in my bag."

Akashi's face broke into a grin, melting Atsushi's heart. "You can always have dinner with me."

The pair walked to Akashi's family car together, getting into the back. It's dark tinted windows blocked out the cold world outside, which seemed as if it was out to get the pair of them all along.

"It's been so long." Murasakibara found himself saying as he stepped out of the car at the front of Akashi's house.

"It has been." Akashi agreed, sliding over the seat and exiting the same door Atsushi had. He came around to stand beside Atsushi. The outside of the house hadn't seemed to have changed in the least. The white paint was some years old now, and the sun had done minimal damage to it. The trees bordering the yard and the bush of roses in front of the house had indeed grown taller, but were still as primped and trimmed as they were of their younger days. Even the dark green shingles of the roof shared the same presence as those stored in Atsushi's memory; although they were also weather-beaten since. The only change Atsushi decided on taking place was that the black, wooden address numbers where no longer nailed to the house, but engraved on a golden plate, which was pinned above the front door.

"What do you say you two eat first and then work on your project? Do you have to call home to let them know where you are?"

Murasakibara felt like a child once more and turned his attention towards Akashi's father, who had driven them home. "I don't have to," he replied. "but I probably should just so they don't worry."

Akashi's father's behavior unnerved Atsushi, and he felt odd that he never brought up any past details surrounding the 'rowdiness of the Atsushi's' or the 'sudden disappearance of Atsushi' from Akashi's life. He didn't even seem aware of their quarrel, which caused a funny stir in Murasakibara's stomach. He vaguely wondered if he would be able to eat his share of dinner at their table.

After assuring to his sister that he was alright and was solely at Akashi's house once more on the basis of a group project, stressing on the group part, that Murasakibara joined Akashi at the table. It had been set for two, no seating at the head of the long table, which he took to mean Akashi and himself would be the only ones dining.

"Is your father going to join us?"

"He's left to travel out of town for business." Akashi muttered, eyes on his plate.

"Oh." was all Murasakibara could think of to say. He vaguely wondered how lonely Akashi would be when his father went on business now, left alone in this big house all alone. He recalled he would spend nights at Akashi's sometimes when his father left on business as a child. His older brother would come out to supervise them and they often watched movies until late at night, scary ones that kept them awake, so they played board games until they could no longer keep their eyes open. He chuckled at the memories as he took his seat.

They ate in silence and candlelight, Akashi's favorite element. Murasakibara couldn't help but glance around occasionally, catching sight of things that had changed or been replaced. Not a lot of differences seemed to jump out at him as he glanced around, however a lot of memories did. He wondered how Akashi would have changed his room. But considering they had the house to themselves tonight, he might ask they work on the project elsewhere and not even show his room to Atsushi.

"Are you finished?" Akashi asked, gently lifting away his plate when he nodded.

Atsushi found himself following Akashi as he once had, throughout his large house from the kitchen towards the stairs. He watched with great interest when Akashi emptied the plates into the sink and rolled up his sleeves. It seemed so trivial that Akashi would wash the dishes, but he declined any help from Atsushi. Fascinated, Atsushi took his opportunity to watch Akashi, noting the muscles in his forearms and the lightness of his step. When they came to the foot of the stairs, he took a longer step than Akashi, coming around the corner faster and trapping the younger boy between his arms, pinning him to the wall.

Akashi's eyes grew wide with fright, a moment of the past brought into their unsteady reality. "A...Atsushi?" His voice shook.

"It's okay, it's okay Aka-chin. I won't hurt you." Murasakibara stared deeply into his ruby eyes. He leaned against Akashi, their heads resting against each other's. He inhaled Akashi's spicy scent and parted his lips in desire. "I just want to..."

He pulled himself away, his voice trailing off to nothingness. He shook his head. Akashi stared at him stunned until he whispered an answer,

"I just wanted to see your eyes once more."

Satisfied with a reason for his sudden movements, a stunned Akashi turned and led the way up the stairs and to his room, with Murasakibara trying to understand why he had done what he did, as he tugged out the tie in his hair and ran his fingers through his braid.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings: Teen/PG  
> Warnings: Violence (mild/mentioned)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.

Atsushi lay awake in his bed, staring up the dark ceiling and revisiting the memories of his previous hours. After they had come upstairs, Akashi had asked Atsushi to do some research for their project on his computer while he went to take a shower. Atsushi felt a bit stunned that Akashi trusted him so much in his home after what he'd done, but he figured Akashi had his scissors around somewhere. His attitude was different, he was more confident, less afraid. He would find a way to defend himself if he had to. But Atsushi didn't want him to think it would have to come to that. He wouldn't hurt him again. A vague thought bounced around in his mind of Akashi's potential for vengeance, but a doubt in his own thoughts would push that thought away. It had been too long; if Akashi had wanted revenge for what happened, he wouldn't be the Center on his basketball team. That much, at least, he was sure of.

He stepped into Akashi's room as Akashi had made his way to the bathroom. He was told the laptop would be on the desk but upon entering Akashi's space, he felt like he was invading. He did receive the answer to his question from dinner though. Akashi's room had changed indeed, but only slightly. His bed had been changed to a twin and now was set in the center of his room rather than against the wall. His nightstands were on either side and he had replaced the light bulbs with orange and black tinted ones so his entire room was bathed in a dimmed light, rather than a bright florescent flood. On the walls around the ceiling he had loosely strung rows of white Christmas lights, which provided more of a light source than the coloured ones. The walls themselves were painted a deep shade of grey, compared to the light colour they were before, and had been designed to look like they were made of large pieces of stone brick.

Everything seemed neat and in order, his bookshelf still held his favorite classics and his clothing was out of sight. What shocked Murasakibara the most, though, was the photographs framed on his walls around the room. There was the photo of his mother and himself on his dresser, and a picture of his parents together. He also had several pictures himself and his father at several famous landmarks: the Eiffel Tower, the Grand Canyon, and Niagara Falls to name a few. No doubt they were taken wherever 'business' had taken them. But the most common photos to be found around the room were of him and Atsushi together; playing outside, eating snacks, watching a movie seated on the Atsushi-brother, and even one of the two of the framed pieces of themselves with his father. After all this time, after all that abuse, Akashi still had surrounded himself with the memories of his childhood friend. The least he could say was he simply just never took them down.

Murasakibara felt tears rolling down his cheeks. He fished out his mobile phone from his pocket and took pictures of the photographs before Akashi would catch him. Wiping away the tears, he had taken the laptop and a seat on the floor at the foot of the bed and began to do the required research. He sniffed and pulled out his notebook from his bag, but forced himself to focus on the task at hand.

Akashi had entered nearly an hour later. He seemed tired but had requested to help. Murasakibara found himself enjoying explaining what he had discovered to Akashi and together they formed a way to present the information to the class equally. The first few times he cracked a joke, Akashi smiled shyly. As time wore on, Atsushi noted they became more comfortable around each other again; Akashi snickered and began laughing. Murasakibara had to hold back his longing to plant a sweet kiss on Akashi's full lips.

At last Atsushi stood up and stretched his back, his fingertips grazing the ceiling. Akashi stood also and stared up at him. "You're so tall now." he commented.

Murasakibara reached out and patted his head lightly, unsure if Akashi would be angered by his jib. "You haven't grown an inch." he teased.

To his surprise Akashi blushed rather than protested. He stammered as he spoke. "Do you...do you like being tall?"

Murasakibara blinked for a moment, unsure of what Akashi was asking. He remembered his earlier mistake of taking too long and leaned forward to press his hands to his thighs so he could gaze into Akashi's eyes as he spoke. "I enjoy being taller than Aka-chin." he smiled.

Akashi smile sweetly, an innocent smile. He seemed happy, like his world had finally regained some colour. Atsushi felt happy as well. It made his heart race to see Akashi happy. He stood up and patted his head again. "I should let Aka-chin sleep." He mused. "Perhaps I should get going, Captain?"

Akashi chuckled at his authority over his Center. "Perhaps. I can ask my uncle to take you. I'll be right back." And with that, Akashi had left the room.

Murasakibara stretched once more and stooped to pick the laptop off the floor. A small pang of disappointment hit his heart as he realized that Akashi and him had not been alone in the house after all, but a part of him knew that Akashi's father wouldn't trust him. He placed the computer on the desk, noticing yet another picture of himself and Akashi in a frame; this one of them sharing a popsicle together. He remembered that day. Akashi's ice cream had melted and they had run out of money to buy anymore. He simply decided to share his with Akashi to make up for it and his brother had taken the photo thinking it was hysterical.

Lying in his bed now, Atsushi forced himself to dive into his past. He wondered just how close he and Akashi had grown as they hung around each other. Sure, they played the same games and did the same things, but they also tasted the same foods, held each other's hands and on numerous occasions cuddled. Even now, Atsushi found himself longing to press his lips against Akashi's pale ones and taste the red-headed boy. He had been the one who had accused Akashi of liking him beyond the point of friends, but had they really only been friends in the first place? Or had Atsushi simply forced himself to believe that Akashi meant lesser to him than he actually did? Was that why he couldn't stand to even think about Akashi after what he did to him all those years?

He shivered, recalling how his family had reacted around anyone who would bring up the name of Akashi Seijuro. His parents had to go to speak to his teachers at school to ensure that he wouldn't be placed in the same group for activities or other kids wouldn't bully him. He considered the way his sister had reacted when he had told her he was at Akashi's.

"Akashi? Akashi Seijuro?" She had tentatively asked.

"Yes. The very one. From ...childhood." He had responded.

"Are you alright, Mukkun?" She had asked. "I can come and get you if you want."

"We're doing a group project, I'm not alone here with him."

"Are you sure? Mum won't like this." He could hear the worry in her voice.

"Then just tell her I'm at a friend's house for a project."

She sighed. He could imagine her rolling her eyes for his excuses again but this time seemed different. "A friend's?" She questioned.

"Uh-huh." He responded. "For a group project. There's four of us. Do you want me to call someone else to confirm it?" he questioned. He knew it was risky but he also knew she would never ask him to.

"No, no. It's fine. I don't want to disturb anyone." she protested immediately. "I just want to make sure you're safe Mukkun."

"I will be. I always am."

"Yeah." she dragged out the words. He wonder now whether she was recalling the incident with the scissors or something else entirely. "Well, be home soon. Get here safe. If you need a ride, just call. Mum wouldn't want you taking the train so late. It doesn't matter how tall you are."

"Alright. Thanks."

Perhaps, he realized now, that she was thinking of the time he had spent at home, unable to walk from the wound he'd received. He had to stay in bed for two week straight before being able to put pressure on his leg without it bleeding. The doctor said it was only suppose to take four days, but due to his size he would take a little longer for him to recover, as he weighed more than the average child.

Or maybe it was because his sister had been the one to walk in on him crying most of the time. Whenever she asked, he would simply reply that his leg hurt. But after it had healed and the tears kept coming, she stopped asking whenever she noticed. She even caught onto the red tint his eyes had when he had spent the night crying. And she had asked him why he had taken all his childhood photos down in his room, careful to even remove the posters of the shows he used to watch. He simply shrugged at the time. "I grew up." He replied.

He realized now just how messed up he had become without Akashi in his life. Though the damage was mutual between the pair, it was without a doubt that Akashi had received the worst of it, having no friends to turn to or make. At least Murasakibara met Kise-chin soon afterwards. He would probably still be in the dark if he hadn't met the joyful and jubilant model, whom accompanied him to each and every sports club to try.

Murasakibara couldn't remember closing his eyes, but sleep finally took him. In his dreams he was playing with Akashi in a sandbox, they were trying to build the biggest sandcastle in history. "And you will be its King!" Akashi laughed in delight. But then the sand began to swirl beneath their feet and they began to sink into it. Their family, teachers, and friends called out to them and reach out to pull them out of the mess. They didn't scream or cry or try to run away though. They simply gazed into each other's eyes and held hands and allowed the sand to swallow them.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was early when Atsushi opened his eyes. He stretched and rolled over, making a loud thud as he hit the floor.

"Ouch." He muttered, rubbing his knee. He got up and sat on his bed, much too small to hold him now. He chuckled to himself as he looked down on it, remembering the one time Akashi had sat on it with him to play a game of chess.

"I've got to talk to him again." He found himself muttering. He forced himself to his feet and got dressed for the day, pausing only to grab his bag from besides his bed.

Kise was waiting for him by his locker. He smirked as Atsushi came into view. "So, did you talk to him?" He asked as soon as Atsushi came within arm's reach.

Murasakibara bit his lower lip, blushed and nodded, allowing his hair to fall about his face and hide it from Kise.

"And? What happened?"

"I miss him so much." Atsushi whispered. He turned to stare into Kise's eyes, his own amethyst orbs filled with tears.

"Come." Kise took his hand. "Let's go."

They headed to the boys bathroom on the second floor, the far stall on the end that was larger than the others for those with disabilities. They often skipped out of their classes to sit there, spend some time to study for another class's test or support each other through a serious time. Kise sat on the counter across from the stall and stared at Atsushi.

"What's the deal? What happened?"

"He...he...I went to his house yesterday, to work on the project after practice." Atsushi began.

"Wait! You went where?" Kise shrieked in a whisper.

"It was all so similar, yet so different. We ate, and then he took a shower and I did some research. Kise, I feel so terrible."

"Atsushi, what happened?" Kise moaned. He felt terrible that there was so little he could do and so eager to hear more.

"His room hasn't changed one bit. He still has the photographs of us on his walls." Atsushi stopped speaking to sniffle. "I just miss him so much."

Atsushi wiped his eyes and gazed at Kise, who simply slid off the counter and came to wrap his arms around Murasakibara. The bathroom door opened and someone entered. They simply locked the stall door and continued their discussion in hushed voices.

"Gosh, Mukkun. A fine stew you've boiled yourself into! Why did you go there?"

"He came and asked me."

"When?!"

"After practice. I was walking home, and I asked Mido-chin where he was because I wanted to talk to him. You told me to, so I was going to try. And he appeared out of nowhere, when I was walking home. He came and asked me 'when do you want to do the project' and I ended up going to his house with him."

"Well, why don't you tell him you miss him?"

"Because he's the Captain. Besides, it's too soon. I did something I shouldn't have yesterday and he got scared."

Kise was silent for a moment. They could hear the sounds of the sink running: the person was probably some science geek there to wash off their hands since the lab's sink broke.

"What did you do?" Kise seemed appalled.

"I held him. Well, more of I...I pinned him against a wall. Like, like this..." And he pinned Kise against the stall door in the same manner. "I acted too fast and I...I scared him. I wanted to...I wanted to press my lips on his."

Murasakibara held his gaze to the floor. They heard the tap outside stop, a small gasp. Rushed footsteps. The voice startled the pair and Kise unlocked the stall door in time for them to witness a small tuff of flaming red hair disappearing out the main door.

"How much did he hear?!" Atsushi moaned.

"I don't know!" Kise frantically whispered.

"What do I do now?"

"I don't know!"

"You're just going to have to talk to him."

"You know that there's no hope in that."

Two classes had passed since Akashi had left the bathroom. Murasakibara had sat on the floor, Kise on the counter. The pair had gazed around absentmindedly before attempting to strike up a conversation, too stunned by the chances that Akashi had entered the same bathroom at the same time they were discussing him.

"Atsushi, you're going to have to try."

"But what if he doesn't like me?"

"You won't know if you don't try."

Atsushi heaved a sigh. In his heart he knew Kise was right.

"I mean, he waited for you didn't he Atsushi? You said he waited for you. That's got to count for something."

"Yeah, you're right."

"So you will talk to him, later?"

"When?"

"When you feel you can. But don't make him wait too long."

Murasakibara had no words. He simply stood and picked Kise up into a hug. "Thank you." He whispered into his ear as he crushed him against his body.

Kise squirmed and chuckled. "Alright, no problem. Though it is odd that he came in here. Anyhow, you're welcome, Atsushi."

Class came and went and Atsushi felt lost in his thoughts. He found himself walking home before practice started, knowing full well that he was skipping. He couldn't face him yet, couldn't do it. His tongue felt thick and heavy just thinking about it. There was no way he could talk with him. Not now.

The sound of Akashi's startled gasp repeated in his head. He wondered what had caused Akashi's attention to tune into their conversation. Just what part had he began listening at? And did he know who was behind the stall door? What would have happened if he called out to him? If he had stopped Akashi from leaving in order to talk to him, right then and there?

It took every ounce of concentration Murasakibara could muster to complete his homework. He only did it to provide himself with a distraction, but by dinner his thoughts still hadn't cleared out. He took his jacket and iPod and decided to go out for a run. Perhaps over-exerting himself would tired him out enough to sleep until he could talk to Kise about it all tomorrow. His sister called for one of the twins to go with him, but Murasakibara didn't want them to try to strike up a conversation. He ran out the door and down the block as fast as he could, trying to lose them before they had a chance to follow him.

Without meaning to, Atsushi found himself in front of Akashi's bedroom window. What he was doing here was beyond his thoughts. He simply was. He felt sick. Had he really run all the way to the Seijuro's house? He stood outside, folding his arms to keep warm and thought about throwing rocks to his windows, as he once did to signal he was over. Would Akashi rush down to open the door to him, as he once had?

Murasakibara doubted it. He watched as Akashi's candles flickered in the window, as his silhouette climbed on the walls as he stood up. He stretched apparently, and made his way to the window. Atsushi stepped into the shadows and watched as Akashi lifted up the glass and gazed out his window, a look of longing in his voice. His eyes swept over the grounds, searching hopefully for something. Or someone.

Atsushi considered for a moment to step out into view. Without thinking, his body took three steps forward. Akashi's eyes grew wide and he jumped up from leaning on the windowsill. Atsushi quickly stepped into the shadows again before Akashi noticed.

Akashi opened the window and leaned out. He gazed from side to side and slowly disappointment settled into his eyes. "Atsushi?" Murasakibara heard him gently say, calling almost as he did in the gym, then saw him mouth it quietly to himself. He watched as Akashi shut his window and drew his blinds, his silhouette disappeared from view.

Atsushi waited once more for Akashi in the locker room. Their captain took his time and Atsushi feigned his legs being sore as an excuse to stay so long. He waited patiently for Akashi to go to his locker after the showers and get dressed before approaching him, wondering vaguely if Akashi drew out his time to see if he would just leave. He felt awkward, bending down to look into those ruby eyes once more. He thought about which was to address Akashi most appropriately.

"Captain?"

Akashi turned, exhaustion written in his eyes. "Atsushi?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"You already have, Atsushi. But yes, you may." He turned and shouldered his bag, closing his locker and leading the way out of the change room.

Murasakibara had no trouble keeping up with him as they walked to his car. "Would you mind if I came over today?"

Akashi stopped walking and turned to face Atsushi. "We completed our project."

"And?"

"It's all set and ready for class. Why would you need to come over?"

"I can only come over if I need to?"

"Why else would you?"

Atsushi sighed, figuring he would get nowhere with Akashi being so stubborn. But he also knew Kise would be disappointed in him if he showed up tomorrow to school without making any effort, again.

"Fine." he scoffed. "For argument's sake, I need to talk to you. There's a reason."

Akashi opened his mouth and closed it again. He thought for a moment, processing what Atsushi had just said. "Fine." he snapped back. "I suppose it's a reason."

They stared at each other for quite some time before Akashi's tired eyes narrowed into a glare.

"I don't suppose it's a good enough reason."

Atsushi's eyes darted away from Akashi's face and back.

"Captain, let's just say I need to talk to you about the team."

Akashi just turned away and pulled open the door to the black SUV. He got in, sliding over to the far end of the seat and turned to motion for Murasakibara to get in. His uncle raised his eyebrow at Akashi in the review mirror but Akashi just gave him a tight lipped smile. "We have a project, remember?" he teased. Murasakibara just smiled, it seemed they were both still making excuses to see each other.

The boys ate in silence; Murasakibara anxiously waiting for the time to pass quickly. Akashi watched him with raised eyebrows as he ate passively. Murasakibara just smiled, please to be in the same room with Akashi. He wished Akashi would eat a bit faster, but he didn't want to push him. He simply sat and waiting, twisting his long fingers together under the tablet to resist from reaching out and holding Akashi's pale hand resting on the wooden top.

Unlike their first meal shared alone together, Akashi's uncle decided to sit at the table with them. Between feeding his meal into his mouth and observing Akashi for any signs of out of the ordinary behavior, Akashi's uncle's eyes drifted to the tall, purple-haired man sitting across Akashi at the table. He cleaned his throat twice, thinking up something to strike a conversation with Akashi's former friend, but he decided against it both times. Every time Atsushi caught his eye, he felt queasy and unsettled. Murasakibara hoped the meal would be shorter than the night's before.

"Alright, what did you want to talk about?"

Akashi pressed his room door closed, pausing to lock it before walking over to sit at his desk. His voice sounded annoyed but Atsushi figured it was solely because it was the last day of school and Akashi was burned out from his week.

"Akashi, I want to talk about...well, us."

"What about us?" Akashi turned to face his desk, making a point in pulling some books out of his schoolbag.

"Akashi, please. I want to," Murasakibara sucked in a deep breath. " ...I want to apologize."

"Is it enough?"

"No." Atsushi fell silent for a moment. "Akashi, no matter what I do, I will never be able to make up to you how I treated you."

Akashi turned to face Atsushi, his red eyes stone cold and glinting with venom. "I'm not going to forgive you." he hissed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I understand."

Murasakibara hung his head for a moment before looking up with is lavender eyes hard with determination and sincerity, trying to match the coldness in Akashi's eyes with a blazing fire of his own.

"I just want to say I'm truly sorry and that I shouldn't have ever treated you the way I did. I...I never meant to hurt you so bad. I didn't realize the result of my actions, and that isn't a valid excuse. But I am sorry. I don't even know why I did what I did; but I know it hurt you. And it was wrong because you were the kindest a person has even been to me and I deceived you and hurt you, after all you did for me."

Akashi got up and walked over to Atsushi, standing just before the foot of his bed. He reached over and took his hand, placing Murasakibara's palm against his cheek before looking up to meet his eyes.

"Atsushi," he breathed.

"Aka-chin." Atsushi whispered, a tear escaping and making its way down his cheek.

He paused to move his fingers through Akashi's hair, watching his eyes close in soft serenity. His eyes misted with desire as he watched Akashi's perfect lips part in a sigh. He held the back of Akashi's neck in his hand firmly as he reached around to pull him closer. Atsushi bent down and placed a soft kiss on Akashi's lips, taking his Captain by surprise. His violet hair hung down and tickled Akashi's face, but the young boy didn't pull away.

After a delicate moment, Akashi gently pushed himself away from Atsushi, who moaned in protest.

"Atsushi, it's not that I object."

Atsushi smiled immediately, causing Akashi's heart to melt.

"It's because I don't want you to regret. And I'm sorry that I let you carry on so."

Murasakibara scowled and his eyes scanned around the room at various precious memories as he thought. It was some time before he simply frowned and admitted,

"I don't understand Aka-chin."

"I'm not right for you. You said it yourself."

Akashi made to walk away.

Atsushi reached out and took his hand, trying hard to be gentle.

"Aka-chin, I'm not going to chase you down if you don't want me to. But I'm really sorry for what I have done. I took you for granted when I shouldn't have ever taken you for anything other than what you mean to me, and that's everything."

"Atsushi. Muffin,"

Murasakibara smiled at the age old pet name.

"This just isn't who we are now. So just let it go. I,"

The captain paused. He looked upwards, willing the forming tears to go away, before he looked back into Atsushi's eyes.

"I don't want to feel for you what I once did."

Akashi stared at him, his mouth a thin line. Murasakibara heaved a sigh and lowered himself to being on one knee.

"Akashi Seijuro, I'm sorry. I don't know what else I can say to you. But I want what we had back."

Akashi stared at him blankly. He turned his face up and away, attempting to cross his arms with Atsushi still holding onto his wrist. He remained silent for a moment before turning slightly to see Atsushi silently crying and staring at the ground in defeat. His arms fell from his determined stance and he found himself at a loss of what to say to Atsushi. He stood before the lavender giant, for once almost equal height.

"Akashi," Murasakibara muttered.

Just uttering his name caused a fire to stir in the giant. Kise's words repeated in his mind: "Atsushi, you're going to have to try. You won't know if you don't try." Taking courage from his friend's smile and advice, Murasakibara felt grow taller. The same hunger to win when facing a worthy opponent on the court began to fill him, and he was careful to release Akashi's delicate, fragile wrist. He shook with a determination similar to the waves he felt versing Aomine Daiki on the court. A manic smile burst forth on his lips and he sobbed, forcing himself to look up to his captain.

"I didn't come this far to lose." he uttered. "Akashi, I miss you. I have missed you all this time. And I don't care if you're right for me. I don't care if our parents think it's a bad idea. I don't care what the kids at school say. I would crush all of them for you! I don't care if I'm a freak because I'm too tall and I don't care that you stabbed me, because I deserved that! I don't even care if we're friends or something more, because all I care about is having the bond that we used to have!"

Atsushi watched as his words impacted Akashi, watched as each sentence he uttered pierced a hole into his shield. He wondered what Akashi was thinking, but his eyes were unreadable and he seemed lost as if in a trace or a dream. Murasakibara reached out to place an arm around his Captain's shoulders and dropped his determined voice to a whispered, "I don't care about anything else, Aka-chin, because I love you."

Akashi smirked, a mischievous smirk with a gentle, innocent aura.

"Oh Atsushi," he whispered, taking a step to close the gap between them. "I love you too."

Murasakibara pulled Akashi to sit on his knee, and pressed their lips together once more. He moaned in pleasure as he slid his tongue into Akashi's moist mouth when the redhead gasped in surprise at the sweetness of his breath. He savored tasting the sweet cherry flavor of their dessert from Akashi's lips, finding it tasted much sweeter than when he ate it off his spoon. Akashi moaned back into him, for once dropping his commanding demeanor. Murasakibara growled, wrapping his hands around Akashi and nipping his bottom lip in his teeth.

Akashi moaned, twisting his fingers through Atsushi's long violet hair. His heart was beating fast and he swooned, pulling Atsushi's face closer to his. He panted as he broke from their kiss, leaning his head on Murasakibara's shoulder, nestling into the grove of his neck. Murasakibara rubbed his back and held him close, wrapping both his arms securely around his little, precious, Aka-chin.

When he detected a slump in the small point guard's posture, Murasakibara shifted so that he could better support him. He softly broke the silence.

"Captain?"

"Mmh?" Akashi mumbled sleepily.

"You're tired." He stated. "Shall I go? I should let you sleep."

"No. Don't leave yet."

Akashi's heart was still racing and his legs felt as if they turned to jelly. If Atsushi were to let go now, he was sure he would faint. Atsushi sighed and ruffled his captain's flaming hair.

"Let's lie you down at least." he protested.

He scooped Akashi up before he could object and placed him down on his bed. Being unable to pry Akashi off his shirt, Atsushi gave up and lay beside him, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy and making what he could of the situation.

Akashi smiled and cuddled closer, wrapping himself around Murasakibara. Atsushi sighed and retrieved his cell phone from his pocket. He dialed with one hand, dropping the phone on his face once before completing the number, and put the small phone to his ear.

"Hey, sis? It's me, Mukkun."

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Epilogue:

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You did very well together, Atsushi." His teacher praised, walking up the aisle to close the blinds after the bell rang. "I didn't know you worked so well with Mr. Seijuro."

"It's nothing really." Atsushi replied, blushing. "We're childhood friends."

His teacher raised his eyebrows in surprise but said nothing of it. For almost two whole months the pair had sat in the same row as each other and never spoken a word. How they had been friends all along was beyond his belief.

Kise watched from the doorway as Atsushi wrapped his arm around Akashi's shoulder's and led him to where he stood waiting. He smirked as Akashi walked confidently, displaying his dominance, the only betrayal of his independence appearing as he held Atsushi's hand behind his back.

"Looks like it turned out alright?" Kise questioned, pacing himself to walk alongside Atsushi.

Atsushi nodded, one arm around Akashi, the other with a cherry flavored popsicle to his lips. "Mmh-hm."

Akashi smirked, leading the way with his foreseen friend Kise and loving Atsushi following his every step.


End file.
